Nikki Bella is a very, very bad girl.
"I'm having the best time being bad. It's way more fun than being a good girl."
She means in the wrestling ring.
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Bella is the WWE Divas champion. She's arrogant, obnoxious and egotistical. She cheats, pulls hair and chokes her opponents. She does whatever it takes to stay on top of the Divas division.
Most of Bella's matches end with her "Rack Attack" finishing move. She lifts her opponent on her shoulders and drops her to the mat for an easy pin. Boo! Cheater!
Sunday night, Bella and her equally villainous twin sister, Brie, will face former champs Paige and AJ Lee in a tag-team match at WrestleMania 31. Seventy thousand fans will pack the San Francisco 49ers' home stadium for the Super Bowl of pro wrestling.
"It's 100 percent our biggest night of the year," Bella said. "We feel like Peyton Manning coming through the tunnel. We have to take golf carts to get from catering to our dressing rooms. Celebrities are walking around. Fans come from all over the world to WrestleMania. WWE television is in 170 countries, and we travel the world putting on our shows. But this one night, the fans come to us."
While Bella breaks all the rules in the wrestling ring, she does a 180 and plays a sweetie in "Total Divas," a reality series featuring WWE women on the E! Entertainment channel.
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"I'm a good girl in real life. I get to play me on 'Total Divas.' It's like being two people, the diva in the ring and the real me on the reality show," she said.
Though all sorts of shenanigans take place on "Total Divas," the main storyline is the raw, emotional relationship between Bella and her boyfriend, WWE superstar John Cena.
They're in a committed relationship. They live together. There's no one else. The only problem: Cena doesn't want to get married or have children. Bella wants both.
"I absolutely want to get married. I know that I'm spending the rest of my life with that man. And I want to spend it as husband and wife instead of partners. It's been my dream since I was a little girl. I've always wanted to be someone's wife and have children. I'm very old-fashioned."
So Sunday night, when Bella is wearing scorching hot pants and a low-cut halter with her breasts overflowing, and she's screaming at fans and calling them "losers," and she's choking AJ Lee half to death … remember, she's just an old-fashioned girl looking to get married and have children.
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I will be in the press box at WrestleMania, tweeting my fingers to the bone. If you want to know the results before "SportsCenter" on ESPN, follow me @KenChronicle.
What is …
New York businessman Alex Navissi was a two-time "Jeopardy!" winner this week. He is the son of Vahid Navissi, owner-chef of Café Benedicte, 15455 Memorial in Houston. The seared sea scallops are alliterative and wonderful.
Pethouse Pet of the Week
Name: Snoopy
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Birthdate: Dec. 22, 2008
Ethnicity: English Cocker Spaniel
Snoopy's lowdown: The 2014 World Cup soccer tournament, held last summer in Brazil, got terrific TV ratings in America, especially the big weekend games. Just wait. The 2022 World Cup will be played November-December in Qatar. Let's see how weekend soccer games do against college football and the NFL.
