RZA, left, and Method Man of Wu-Tang Clan rocked the second weekend of 2013's Coachella Festiva. Method Man, Ghostface Killah and Raekwon will headline Wu-Years Eve at Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom in Denver on Dec. 31, 2013. Photo by John Shearer, Invision/AP

… but can I cuddle with Ghostface Killah? What $800 buys at Wu-Year’s Eve, speculations and truth

By The Reverb Staff

When it was announced last monthWu-Tang Clan‘s Wu-Year’s Eve became one of Colorado’s most unexpected New Year’s Eve shows of the year. But what shocked us as much as the sudden opportunity to see Ghostface Killah, Method Man and Raekwon at Denver’s Cervantes’ Masterpiece Ballroom on the biggest party night of the year was the price range.

The Cervantes’ website originally listed ticket prices as $45-$800 (now, VIP packages are listed up to $2,100 for 10 tickets). Sure it’s going to be a wild party, but dropping hundreds of dollars on a ticket? Initially our staff’s imaginations went wild, thinking up what a fan could get for an $800 Wu-Tang Clan ticket. Here’s what we thought an $800 ticket would get you and what you’ll actually get on New Year’s Eve if you spend the money. (Our ideas are below the photos.)

What the Reverb staff thought you’d get for $800:

– 25 min of cuddling with Ghostface Killah

– A locally grown, free range, gluten free meal cooked for you by Raekwon

– 8 stoned napkin diagrams of each of the 36 chambers, for a total 288, broken up among the 8 or so members of the band. Sure to be a collector’s item.

– A replica mouthpiece (wearable) of Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s top grill

– $800 worth of Tang!

– A Kevlar scarf. You know why.

– The band’s signed approval for you to have your name legally changed to something ending in “ZA.”

– Method Man will make and actually eat green eggs and ham with you.

– Ten minutes of awkward small talk with Inspectah Dec, U-God and Masta Killa — the forgotten Wu-Tang Clan members.

– One group martial arts class

– The commentary version of “How High” by Method Man and Redman, which The New York Times called “semi-intelligible.”

And what you’ll actually receive for the $800 ticket, according to Cervantes’ Masterpiece Ballroom (we were kinda close):

VIP Bottle Service

– Gold Package: 4 VIP tickets, 1 bottle of Yolo Rum, Vodka, Tequila, or Bourbon & 1 Champagne.

– Platinum Package: 6 VIP tickets, 1 bottle of Yolo Rum, Vodka, Tequila, or Bourbon & 1 Champagne.

– Diamond Package: 8 VIP tickets, 2 bottles of Yolo Rum, Vodka, Tequila, or Bourbon & 2 bottles of Champagne.

VIP Bottle Service Purchasers Will Receive:

– Cocktail service throughout the duration of the night at the table and all mixers will be provided. Red Bull is an extra $5 per can.

– Table Service Fee (20.00% gratuity) is a mandatory charge that is NOT included in the package price.

– A major credit card and valid photo ID must be presented prior to being seated.

– If the group is larger than 8, additional tickets can be purchased separately, however table seating and space is limited to Bottle Package table size.

Tickets and Bottle Package Purchases are NON-REFUNDABLE

Buy tickets to Wu-Year’s Eve here.