By Joseph Sapienza
Not often do journalists do this, but I give credit to the ... ahem ... wait for it ... the state governments for cobbling up the Perth-Bunbury (Forrest) Highway within budget AND within deadline.
And what a joy it was to drive home from Bunbury on Sunday afternoon, even though I experienced four seasons in one day during a journey that lasted one hour and 40 minutes.
My hopes of making it back to the southern suburbs of Perth within the promised 90 minutes would have been fulfilled if it weren't for the downpour during my commute along the new stretch of tar, or the superfluous roadworks being undertaken by Main Roads on the outskirts of Bunbury.
So kudos to Alannah MacTiernan and Colin Barnett - even if he did give his best impression of Davy Jones with that hairdo he was sporting on the nightly news on Sunday evening.
I drove down to Bunbury in the morning, but of course the Forrest Highway was not yet open because there was an important bike race to be had and the official ribbon cutting and patting-on-the-back amongst the state's bureaucrats had yet to take place.
Fair enough, so I took the usual frustrating route through Falcon, Mandurah and Dawesville, as I have been doing with my folks for years and years.
Nothing beats a smooth road trip. There are stints of smooth sailing on the Kwinana Freeway and Old Coast Road - but once you hit the above localities a nagging twitch sets in, with the intermittent traffic lights, the merging lanes, and who could forget the ever-changing speed limits. The approved velocity skips around from 60 to 70, 90, 80 and another 70 thrown in for good measure in and around Falcon, to ensure the government coffers are kept in better shape than our dam levels.
If ever there was a stretch of road heading south that would best resemble a mood-swinging teen, that would be it.
Thankfully it is now a thing of the past, courtesy of this brand spanking new road named after our beloved Sir John Forrest.
During the trip down to Bunbury, mother lamented the fact we never tried a pie at that shop in Novara while I kind of regretted never stopping at that enticing Jolly Frog restaurant perched below the Dawesville Bridge. You know the one with the not-so-subtle cross winds that gives sweet views of those Port Bouvard luxury houses that make even blush.
Well, tough bickies, the curiosity to try those eateries is not big enough to steer me away from the direct dual carriageway and calming nature of the new highway.
My family - bless them - have embarked on a new era of travelling to Donnybrook and Bunbury and thankfully, it now does not include the stop-start roads of Mandurah and its little sisters.
Later that day, we departed Bunbury at 4.08pm, and despite encountering a little delay just outside the Bunbury CBD near the Shell Gateway - c'mon, did you think Main Roads would make the trip roadwork-free? Puh-leez - we hit the new highway at Lake Clifton about 4.48pm.
My life must really not be that exciting at the moment if the manic grin on my unshaven face and the random horn-beeping that heralded a new era in south-west road networks was anything to go by.
A cluster of tall pine trees on elevated ground greets you on the left as you begin chugging up a gradual incline in the opening kilometres, but other than that it's just the stock-standard scenery you'd get on the Old Coast Road and South Western Highway with green pastures, wire fencing, isolated homes or homesteads and packs of cows.
And of course there were the lifeless, greying, scattered trees that have seen better days and were perhaps alive when the great man himself - Sir John Forrest of course - was leading our state through our formative years.
So you could say the trees are fitting for the new highway.
Though one thing did catch my eye. It was those bizarre chrome cone-shaped sculptures on the other side of the road that greet you at one stage when heading northbound. Were they channelling ET? I have no idea.
But besides that, there's nothing to distract you on your journey. I think fatigue will be the biggest problem that will plague the road in the near future at least.
There are no amenities like petrol stations for 40km, though there is a portaloo stop - albeit approximately 2km from the start of the highway heading north. It makes the age-old question/veiled threat of "does anyone need to go to the toilet because we're not gonna be stopping" even more crucial for little tykes now.
I read a press statement from a local insurance company warning motorists not to treat the State's newest treasure as a "personal speedway", but there was no chance in hell of that happening considering I was driving mum's Nissan Tiida, while the great lady herself was in the front passenger seat watching the speedometer like a hawk.
So rest assured police and said insurance company, there'd be no Rod Easdown antics from yours truly.
Nothing could go wrong, it was a pleasant drive, probably one of the most direct drives I've ever been on while going at a consistent speed of at least 100kmh, while I was listening to Perth Glory getting the job done against Brisbane.
It was sheer bliss.
In great time, we made it to the Safety Bay Road bridge, and after exiting the Kwinana Freeway at Roe Highway, we were home by 5.48pm.
No frustrations, no twitching, no anger, no traffic lights, no traffic build-up, no single carriageways and no frequent speed limit changes equals one satisfied WA taxpayer.
See what happens when our cash is spent on such capital projects that benefits the bulk of the constituents.
Now let's get the Perth Arena, Northbridge Link and Roe Highway extension sorted in good time - or is that just asking for too much?