Sanjay Kapoor: Arjun’s mother Mona and I shared a special bond

Sanjay Kapoor, 52, is the only one in his family who is a graduate. When Boney Kapoor got remarried to Sridevi, Sanjay looked after Arjun just as a father would have. Even when Arjun’s mother Mona cut off her communication with Boney’s family and moved out with her two children, Arjun and Anshula, she shared a special bond with Sanjay. In continuation of his interview with the Bombay Times, Sanjay talks about his empathy for Arjun, his unspoken bond with Mona and why he is happier than both his brothers.Excerpts:
Let’s talk about Boney Kapoor?
Boney should have been a hero. He is a spender. Be it his holidays or any other thing. That’s his personality. When me and Anil first went abroad when I was 22, he told us, ‘Main tumhare jaise bheekmango ki tarah nahi jaoonga. When I can afford it, I will go.’ That time also, he would make shirts from Kachins.
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You have been closest to Arjun amongst the kids in your family. Let’s talk about him.
Obviously, I could not take Boney’s position in his life as Boney is his father, but there was this phase of 10 years where I was the closest to what a father figure can be. When Boney got remarried to Sri, my parents told him, ‘You have got remarried. But Mona and kids will continue to live here.’ So, Boney shifted out, whereas they stayed back. That time, I was the only one left in the house who could have corrected Arjun. Boney had his own issues that time. I was very close to Mona also, in fact, the only one in the family who was. While we did not communicate as much, we shared a bond. Maybe it was due to how she saw me with Arjun. She had been very attached to my father till a certain time, probably till when Boney had got remarried. When she shifted out, we came to know from outside that she had cancer and that she did not want Arjun to tell us. So when my father passed away, she entered our house after 5 years. I went down to get her. When she was entering the house, I knew that she was also unwell. I held her hand and shoulder and took her up, as she had come after a long time. We didn’t share too much in words, but she knew that I was there.
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Between Arjun and Boney, who did you empathise with more?
With Arjun. I understand that it’s not the first time that a man was getting remarried. And it was not about taking sides or anything, but I was still living with Arjun and therefore, felt for him. He was just 10 and Anshula too young, but I knew that we were there for them. We ensured that Arjun and Anshula continued to enjoy the same lifestyle. That ten years that I spent with Arjun, is what he would have normally spent with Boney. Boney would come home and everything, but it was different. Arjun was very sensitive and most lovable. I used to fire Arjun the most for being fat. When he was older, he was not good at his studies and I took that responsibility. Boney was as it is so guilty, so he could not be strict with him. He was spending those 45 minutes with him and in that, he could not have scolded him. So there were a lot of things he couldn’t do which I did. I would take him with me if I went for my shows or for holidays. Boney used to provide for him by spending on him too much and I would fire him for that, as I didn’t want Arjun to get spoilt as I knew that Boney was spending that money on him out of guilt. I was the balancing factor and even now I remain so. Even during Tevar, sometimes if there was something Arjun would do wrong, I would tell Boney, ‘You are not the only man to have got remarried. If you have to tell Arjun something, you should say it to him.’ But I know that Boney still holds back. I think it was destined that my first film had to be with Arjun, as I have a special bonding with him. I was so emotional that I always wanted to make my first film with a family member. I had such a social circle, but never asked anybody. I felt that what will people say. He has a hero in the house, so why is he approaching us? I am not calculative at all. I am sensitive and smart enough to not embarrass anyone and ask them to do my film.

How did you meet your wife Maheep?
I had met her in Delhi at the premiere of 'Roop Ki Rani Choron Ka Raja'. She is from Australia, but she used to come to Delhi for her holidays to her grandparents'. She was planning to do modelling. When I started seeing her, I thought it would be a fling till we started seeing each other seriously, till we got married 5 years later.
What do you like most about her?
That besides being a hot looking girl, she is not materialistic at all. Also, her family is great. I value my parents a lot and when I met her family, I liked them a lot too.
Both your brothers have been more successful than you. Did that make you envious?
No, I used to see Boney and I would feel he has so many problems, be it financial, personal and everything, I would rather be born as Sanjay Kapoor again. In Anil’s case, while he has been very successful, he was always busy with work and hardly had any friends. The best time I had with Anil was in 1997, when I had gone on a world tour with him. That was the best bond we shared for that one month and he was superb. He has been the flagship brand within our family and he became the first star to have given us the standing when we moved from Chembur. Today whatever we are, it is to do with Anil's initial success. Anil and Boney were a lethal combination and were solid together. Success is a very relative term. I feel that I live in a great house, have great children, have great parents and am happy. In fact, I feel that I am happier than both of them and I would rather be me.
Listen to the songs of Tevar on Gaana.com
Who were your parents most attached to?
They were most attached to Boney, may be because he was the oldest or due to his nature, but my dad, till his last, was very proud of all four of his children. He was a very content and a positive man. Amongst his grandchildren, he was most attached to Arjun. Whenever we see old pictures I see he was always holding Arjun. Even Arjun was very close to him. Mom never goes for trials. But the day dad died, she had gone to the trial of Mausam at Yashraj. Dad was going for a walk and had gone to drop her. He came to know that Arjun too was there for some work, so he called for Arjun who said that he would take 5 more minutes to come down. Dad told the driver, ‘I am getting late for my walk, I can't wait for Arjun. Let’s go.’ He went away and he went for a walk and felt uneasy after which he died. When Arjun returned home, he felt very guilty about missing to see his dadu. He was shattered. When I saw him, I didn’t know whether I should weep over my father’s death or control Arjun. Mom till today feels that had she been at home that day, she may have been able to save him. But dad lived a full life and went very peacefully.
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