“It’s the Most God-Awful Sports Year of All”
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
As sung by New York sports fans
It’s the most God-awful sports year of all
With the Mets still not spending
The Knicks not defending
The Nets in free-fall!
It’s the most God-awful sports year of all!
It’s the hap-hapless-est time in New York
There’s no way else to judge it
The Yanks on a budget
Let’s go stick a fork
In the backs of all the teams from New York …
There’s Rex Ryan for whacking
And road teams shellacking
The Giants, the Knicks and the Jets
There’s the Wilpons for roasting
And Phil Jackson coasting
And Melo who’s filled with regrets
It’s the most God-awful sports year of all
With these travails and trials
Thank God for the Isles
And Tammany Hall!
It’s the most God-awful sports … year of all!
“Stumblin’ Around the Meadowlands”
“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”
As sung by Rex Ryan and Tom Coughlin
Rex: Stumblin’ around the Meadowlands
On a four-month scoring drought
Geno and Vick, go take your pick
It’s an endless three-and-out
Tom: Fumblin’ around the Meadowlands
With a defense that’s Swiss cheese
Wish to hell I never yelled
Only losers have injuries
Together: You would get a nauseating feeling, in your bones
If you saw our roster pieces
Blame is Idzik’s, Jerry Reese’s
Tom: Bumblin’ around the Meadowlands
At least I have OBJ …
Rex: I’ll be back, next year in fact
With a T … V … gig … OKaaaaay!
“I’ll Be There in Tampa”
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas”
As sung by Alex Rodriguez
I’ll be there in Tampa
You just wait and see
I will prove
That I can move
More swiftly than a tree
Pitchers-catchers find me
Where the sun shines true
I’ll be there in Tampa
Unlike old Number 2
“Rooting For the Small-Town Market Mets”
“Winter Wonderland”
As sung by The 7 Line
Ride your sleigh, start a fire
We signed Bay (um … Cuddyer)
With Harvey and Zack
The magic is back!
Rooting for the small-town market Mets
Murphy, Wright should be healthy
(Fred is sprite, just not wealthy)
It sure would be great
To play with just eight
Rooting for the small-town market Mets
In the lineup there will be a shortstop
(Bet the ranch he’ll be there on the cheap)
By September maybe there’s a sport swap
Or else the fans will all be screaming “BLEEEEP!!!”
Kevin Long fixing Grandy
D’Arnaud’s strong, Duda’s dandy
A wing and a prayer
With nickels to spare
Rooting for the small-town market Mets
“These Were A Few of My Favorite Things”
“My Favorite Things”
As sung by New York sports fans who realize that even in tough times there’s a reason to keep watching…
Watching the Captain walk-off with a single
(Even a cynic walked out with a tingle)
Always much more than the sum of his rings …
These were a few of my favorite things
Eli-to-Beckham can get the blood pumping
Ellsbury’s brilliant (when he isn’t slumping)
Lundqvist was almost his sport’s King of kings
These were a few of my favorite things
When the Jets lose, when the Nets snooze
When you’re feeling glum
Just get in your head better days are ahead
And then you won’t feel … so numb.
Melo dropped 60 (and then was extended)
Jacob deGrom was repeatedly splendid
Islanders make us dream grand dreams of spring …
These were a few of my favorite things
Whack Back at Vac
Mike Ostrowski: With sanity breaking out all over, I hope that MLB can now re-establish relations with Mark Cuban and maybe let him relocate a team to Havana.
Vac: Something tells me he would have them in the playoffs before the Mets.Stewart Summers: Any word on the release date for the sequel “The Interview Part 2?” Just asking… I put the over/under on “Funny or Die” doing this at a week — and it’ll be twice as funny as the movie was going to be.
@MJKleinman: It looks like Jay Cutler is done in Chicago what do you think about NYJ taking a flyer if no worthy QB is drafted?
@MikeVacc: I’m for that 100% but then I’d be all for Bruce Cutler over the current pair, also.
Alan Hirchberg: Rolling Stone recently ran an article on the 15 worst owners in pro sports. Every team I root for made the list. Should I be proud of that?
Vac: I guess it could be worse: You could be a big fan of Sony.
Vac’s Whacks
Was listening to some Sinatra this week, and I always love this prescient lyrical ode to the Wilpon Mets: “The old team just isn’t playing/And the new team hardly tries.”
I hope it doesn’t threaten revocation of my Dude Card to admit that, yes, I binge-watched “The Affair” this week.
Nice win by the Johnnies on Friday night. We may have hope yet for a basketball season in Fun City.
We’re getting closer to the point where the men who run the Nets may wish to call P.J. Carlesimo (below ) , say “Sorry,” add “Come back?” and then: “Please?”