Everyone makes mistakes. Take, for example, this post. But, more germane to the topic at hand, take Billy Beane. He’s one of the best GMs in baseball, but he’s made some smelly deals. He's sent off good players and got back bad ones. If, however, you sorted through the 41,500 tweets I’ve shot into the ether, I doubt two of them make fun of Billy Beane. It’s not that Beane is unimpeachable. He's not. But, if he makes a move and I don’t understand it, it’s likely the problem is on my end, not his, and I need to think through things a bit more. There's a decade and a half of history to support this conclusion.
Conversely, other people are easier targets. So easy. The easiest, even. With that as an introduction, here are nine unsent tweets about Philadelphia Phillies GM Ruben Amaro, Jr.
1.
Phillies announce signing of Yastrzemski Thomas to a 6 yr, $100 million deal pending a physical and finding someone named Yastrzemski Thomas
2
Asked about Cesar Jimenez, Amaro said, "He one of the best... what does he play? Don't tell me... it ends with "cher" right? Oh! I know!"
3.
Ruben Amaro is that kid at a craft fair who puts all his stuff on the table but likes it too much to sell any of it.
4.
"Ruben, it's time to trade"
"I know"
"We have to"
"I know"
"We're not winning anything next season"
"I know"
"So..."
"BUT NOT ROLLINS!"
*sigh*
5.
If ever a team needed to trade high priced vets for young players/prospects, it's the Phillies
/cut to Amaro playing with toy trucks
6.
Source: Phillies are interested in 19-year-old Yoan Moncada, though not for 15 years.
7.
Hey Billy Beane, if I pay his salary, you'll take Howard?
Sure
/quickly edits tape
plays "Billy Beane, you'll take Howard?" "Sure"
Got ya!
8.
We can't sir
Why not?
A '79 Sprint with 200K miles?
Best car in the city
It's just not worth $2.8Mil, Mr. Amaro
It had a good year though!
9.
Amaro: Sorry, but up the offer or I'm going with the mystery team
GM: I can't Ruben /hangs up
Amaro: /looks in mirror
/takes off mask
/sighs
