Name: Zepher, which I believe should be Zephyr, but not to worry, you'll change it to something less alphabetically challenged.
Ethnicity: I'm a rat terrier, a breed that also needs a name change.
Birthdate: Dec. 1, 2008.
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Turn-ons: The Cleveland Browns have a 6-3 record - and they're in first place! I told you that Johnny Manziel would turn that team around. If only the Texans had listened to fans and taken Johnny Football, maybe the Texans would be in first place.
Turn-offs: I'm glad Florida State University has come to its senses and postponed Jameis Winston's code-of-conduct hearing for alleged sexual assault until after the Seminoles' regular season. We wouldn't want a little inconsequential matter like sexual assault to get in the way of winning football games. A reader recently told me, if the Texans even think about drafting Winston, he'll start rooting for the Cowboys.
Ideal home: This is power. Real power. Last year, "Guy's Grocery Games," hosted by Guy Fieri, was filmed in a real supermarket near Los Angeles. Fieri said he wanted to stay close to home in Santa Rosa, Calif., this year, so the Food Network rented a 15,500-square-foot warehouse in Santa Rosa and bought $700,000 of food to stock it. After each episode, perishables are donated to local food banks. Non-perishables are being held over for next season.
