Two things happened on Friday, November 14: G20 proceedings kicked off in Brisbane, and the new trailer for 50 Shades of Grey was released.
It's going to be a close run thing to see which of those two capture the world's imagination more over the next few days.
David Cameron and Tony Abbott arrive at Brisbane Airport. Credit: Peter Parks/AFP
One is a tense character study about the corruption of innocence by wealth and power, while the other is a shonky movie.
Now don't groan too much at that joke. I had something in mind about Vladimir Putin and Tony Abbott in a "Red Room of Pain", but I don't want to be arrested until at least day two.
Thompson and Thomson ... doing an impression of David Cameron and Tony Abbott?
Given the G20 summit is the biggest reality TV show in town, it seems only fair to subject it to recaps in the same way any serialised drama might be.
Together, we'll work our way through the triumphs of diplomacy, the embarrassing moments, and for the unofficial first day, we'll ask the question – what exactly is the "Brisbane Lizard Liberation Front"?
Friday was a slow burn of a day, and I'm not just talking about the effect following a protest for four hours in full sun had on my pasty, doughy skin.
It was a day of anticipation, of gearing up, of perfecting motorcade fence placements, of world leaders doing test jumps on hotel beds to ensure mattress firmness (surely they must do that as well?) and of journalists at the media centre trying to secure a good spot near the buffet.
Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto touches down with his wife Angelica Rivera Hurtado.
The Aboriginal Deaths in Custody march was the biggest "action" of the day – kicking off in Speaker's Corner at the Roma Street Parklands at 9.30, winding its way through to Musgrave Park in the middle of the day, and finishing with further speeches and a corroboree.
As always the grief and anger at the indigenous rally was as palpable as ever, particularly as Queensland marks 10 years since the death in custody of Mulrunji Doomadgee next week. But there was also spirit and humanity, evidenced in the smoke ceremony and traditional dancing as the sun set.
Tagging along with the march were a few "legalise marijuana" types, their hopes no doubt buoyed by recent changes in the US on the issue (and possibly a brekky bong). It will be interesting to see if they show up again on Saturday for what's expected to be the biggest day of protesting. Heaven knows I'd love to see a hippie in Anonymous garb, but with suspicious smoke spiralling out of the top of their Guy Fawkes mask.
After South African President Jacob Zuma popped the cork on leadership arrivals yesterday, the chiefs of state champagne really started flowing.
Indonesia's freshly-minted president Joko Widodo flew in, much to the joy of TV and radio broadcasters who now have an easier name to pronounce than Susilo Bambang Yudiyono.
Turkish PM Ahmet Davutoglu addressed a luncheon, although I have yet to confirm whether chefs took advantage of a brilliant joke opportunity and actually served turkey.
South Korean President Park Geun-Hye and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe unpacked their bags and headed straight for the G20 karaoke competition heats.
President of Mexico Enrique Pena Nieto and Senegal's Macky Sall experienced our motorcade treatment, as did Indian PM Narendra Modi, who did what any self-respecting Tweeter did as soon as he got into his hotel room and snapped a quick "look at the view" pic. We can probably expect his lunch tomorrow on Instagram.
Meanwhile, Tony Abbott was playing tour guide to his UK counterpart David Cameron in Sydney and Canberra, going on a Pretty Woman-style montage, before Mr Cameron addressed federal parliament, getting all smushy-faced about the buddy-buddy relationship between Australia and the UK.
All day the pair reminded me of something, someone, a pop culture reference I couldn't quite articulate. It was only when they stepped out of the plane door in Brisbane and gave a jaunty double wave did it hit me: Thompson and Thomson, the twin detectives from Herge's classic comic Tintin. All they needed were bowler hats and the illusion would be complete.
On the security front, four people were arrested, making it now 15 people who have been excluded from the security zone. They, like all other Brisbane residents who have fled the city for the comfort of traffic jams on the Pacific and Bruce highways, are now left with only one protest option: throwing shoes at world leaders when they turn up on the telly from the comfort of their own couches.
Police divers ventured into the Brisbane River (I hope they're on danger pay) to check out some mysterious "bubbles" seen, well, bubbling in the water in front of the Gallery of Modern Art.
Rumours abounded as to the source of the bubbles, but they were later scotched by Deputy Commissioner Ross Barnett, who confirmed "There were no frogmen, or anything of real interest".
No frogmen, eh? If not amphibians, then perhaps ... lizards?
I can reveal that this publication received an email on Friday afternoon from an organisation calling itself the Brisbane Lizard Liberation Front (not to be confused with the Liberation Front of Brisbane Lizards, or the Lacertilia Emancipation Group).
The message criticised the status of reptiles as one of the "prohibited items" in the Red Zone.
"There are reports that blue tongues, skinks and bearded dragons have been hassled repeatedly by the police, being handed exclusion notices and locked up in temporary watch houses," read the statement.
"Campbell Newman and his cronies might think that they can push around the humans and tell them where they can and can't go, but we lizards have been in Brisbane longer than them, and have survived centuries of over-development and habitat destruction. If these politicians think they can keep us out of the city just by spending a few hundred million dollars on police and security, they have a lot to learn."
I, for one, welcome our rebellious reptilian friends and hope they continue to... ahem... monitor the situation.
And with that, drop the mic, this G20 recap is done!
On Saturday: world leaders get down to business, will somebody accidentally call the German chancellor "An-jel-a" instead of "Angle-ah", and what advice will Barack Obama give University of Queensland students?