Her family means the world to her and while she is extremely honest, she is often misunderstood. Over a cup of coffee, ahead of her upcoming film Ekkees Toppon Ki Salaami, she talks to Bombay Times about her love for her parents, her reasons for feeling lonely and how becoming a Miss India changed her life forever.
Excerpts:
I was born and raised in Kerala, as my dad was from the navy. So I have pretty much grown up around jelly fish and jumping in the ocean. I moved to Delhi later when my dad got posted there. My life's ambition was to do History or Political Science so that I could get into the IAS as that is what my dad wanted. And my life's ambition was to get that extra half-an-hour of sleep so I decided to not go to Delhi's North campus and instead go to Jesus and Mary College just for that extra sleep that I could manage. While in college, I started doing theatre with Shiamak Davar and Roshan Abbas. We were doing a musical and guess who my dance instructor was? It was Shahid Kapoor. He always thought that our group of girls were the most notorious ones. Shahid was extremely reserved and focused only on teaching. Then I modelled for a little bit and went on to doing a Japanese movie. I started getting modelling assignments. The first one was directed by Pradeep Sarkar with Shoojit Sircar as its executive producer. I then did a television serial directed by Tigmanshu Dhulia with Randeep Hooda as my boyfriend in the serial. I remember I had just got my new car after making some money from modelling and he would say, 'I am from Australia. Put on the air conditioning.' He was adorable and we now laugh thinking about that. Randeep is politically incorrect and I like that.
Actually, I like people who are politically incorrect as I see a bit of myself in them. I don't get along with correct people as they worry me. We are human, not God. I love flaws and imperfections. In 2000, my mom saw this application for Miss India and suggested I participate. We applied and got a call and went for our auditions to this 5 star hotel. By the end of our third round it was really late and all these girls said, 'We are not going to eat and the waiter came with these club sandwiches and cold coffee. It looked awesome. I thought to myself, 'Wow, you get to have club sandwiches in the Miss India contest.' So I grabbed two club sandwiches and two cold coffees and that was probably the yummiest sandwich I ate in my life, but that was also the last time I ate one 12 years ago. After that you become so conscious and so aware and I constantly live these two lives. There is always this one Neha battling with the second Neha. There is one part of me that everyone wants me to be and the other part that is laid- back that understands that there is only one life. Anyways at the Miss India finale, I was the dark horse, but I won. I still remember Akshay Kumar and Preity Zinta were the judges and when my name was announced I could see them jumping high, as they had been rooting for me.
What did it mean to be a Miss India?
It was the best year of my life. I had no idea that this kind of a world and life existed. Overnight from some one who was just an ordinary girl playing sport and hanging out with the boys living in my track pants for 20 years of my life to become a high heels business class passenger, living in suites, I was thrown and taken aback. I still remember, we were in a double room in a 5-star hotel in Hyderabad, where the finale happened. My bags were moved the night I won into a suite. I woke up the next morning and opened the papers and it was me. I could not believe it. It was a big deal. I had put the rim of the tea cup by mistake on my photo and it left a mark on my picture. I wasn't sure if I would get another paper. I quickly called up house keeping and asked them for another paper if they didn't mind. They said, 'Ma'm, you are on the front page of the Times of India. We will give you 10 copies if you want.' We then had to go to Delhi the next day and it was so embarrassing for me when I cleared security as my bag was full of only copies of the newspaper carrying my picture. I had taken a copy for everybody as I didn't realise that it had come everywhere. I gave it to my mom and asked her to put it in the suitcase. It was life changing. I then went on to competing for Miss Universe where I reached the top 10, but lost the title.
What did you go through emotionally?
In one year of my life, I had seen what victory and defeat can do to you and how temporary everything is. From a girl, I became a woman. I moved out of home for the first time to Mumbai. My parents were brave and never stopped me, at the same time they knew I had my head between my shoulders and would never do anything to embarrass them or myself. I took my little apartment in Yari Road and for the first time the door bell rang, where first the newspaper would come, then the milk, then the maid and I knew that life had begun. I got my first film Qayamat thanks to Gracy Singh, as she did not show up on the set and thus was fired, as they told me. So they were looking for a girl who could do a water scene in a bikini. I owe my career to Gracy. When I was growing up, I would tell my mom, 'The moment I have one lakh in my bank account, I will retire.' Before I got my first film I would tell her, 'When I do one movie with a megastar, I will retire.' But you know what, I realised that it just doesn't work like that.
Will you get married?
Eventually yes, but not at the moment. I was in a really fine relationship some time ago, but had to give up only due to the long distance. It's only when my relationship was slipping out of my hands that I wished that I was working in a bank so that I could have moved to Washington DC without thinking twice.
Do you feel lonely at this point in life?
Yes, there are days when I feel very lonely. I feel that I should have someone in my life and I shouldn't have to think of just what is the next piece of clothing I will wear at the next event or the next film I should chase... it's never going to end. Everyone, who is living in this city, is just running and half of us don't even know what we are running behind. I am in that unfortunate list of people and so is my entire industry. Being in this industry, you experience so much as we get bashed so publically that even a relationship break does not hurt you as much as it would normally. It's not easy. You could develop a small tumour that you could throw out sometime or if it grows, you may explode someday.
Who are you most attached to?
My parents. I don't remember being an easy child, was always mischievious with a lot of friends, creating ruckus all the time. I always had more male friends than girl friends. I was always with the boys and wanted to play sport and become an athlete. My dream was to wear an India jersey and walk in an Olympic squad and bend down and get a medal. If my heart was cut into two, there would be my mother on one side and my father on the other. I am such a family person. They are both my biggest strength and my biggest weakness.
The one thing that my father doesn't like about me is that I fly off the handle, but he knows that I mean well. I say sorry to everybody. Sorry, please and thank you are my favourite words. I am very turned on by well-mannered people. I am not delusional at all. I can be happy in any situation, but need to improve my decision-making ability. I feel that I am ambitious but haven't fought hard enough. I took the best of what I got. As much I love being in the industry and that's my disclaimer, most people here love to preach. Oh, you should do this and don't do this. If you don't have anything for me, just say so. Don't give me this filmi jargon. I have been caking my face since 1998. Don't tell me what I should do or shouldn't. I am a girl who came from nowhere. I have had no sugar mamas and sugar daddys. Whatever I have done is me. And I am so proud of myself and at the end of it, at least I have slept well as it has been a very respectful journey. And that's the most important thing. I remember when I had won Miss India and returned home and I saw my dad. He had not answered any call, had not put on the TV, not opened the paper as he was waiting for me to return. He is a fauji man, but is so weak-hearted when it comes to me. His phone kept ringing again and again but he didn't take it though he knew it was good news as he wanted to hear it from me. He knew how much I had invested in it and wanted to just see me happy. My dad had never seen snow in his life and he always wanted to. We went for TOIFA last year and I was able to take him up to Whistler for him to see snow. I saw him cry with joy. He was like, my little child has made me do this and gave me his hug. At the end of it, when you feel it is all coming to an end, these are the flashes that stay in your head. They go anywhere and feel so proud of being my parents. It is very hard sometimes to just sit around waiting for that hug. That is what this city doesn't give you. It gives you everything but at the end of the day, just doesn't give you that hug.
Excerpts:
I was born and raised in Kerala, as my dad was from the navy. So I have pretty much grown up around jelly fish and jumping in the ocean. I moved to Delhi later when my dad got posted there. My life's ambition was to do History or Political Science so that I could get into the IAS as that is what my dad wanted. And my life's ambition was to get that extra half-an-hour of sleep so I decided to not go to Delhi's North campus and instead go to Jesus and Mary College just for that extra sleep that I could manage. While in college, I started doing theatre with Shiamak Davar and Roshan Abbas. We were doing a musical and guess who my dance instructor was? It was Shahid Kapoor. He always thought that our group of girls were the most notorious ones. Shahid was extremely reserved and focused only on teaching. Then I modelled for a little bit and went on to doing a Japanese movie. I started getting modelling assignments. The first one was directed by Pradeep Sarkar with Shoojit Sircar as its executive producer. I then did a television serial directed by Tigmanshu Dhulia with Randeep Hooda as my boyfriend in the serial. I remember I had just got my new car after making some money from modelling and he would say, 'I am from Australia. Put on the air conditioning.' He was adorable and we now laugh thinking about that. Randeep is politically incorrect and I like that.
Actually, I like people who are politically incorrect as I see a bit of myself in them. I don't get along with correct people as they worry me. We are human, not God. I love flaws and imperfections. In 2000, my mom saw this application for Miss India and suggested I participate. We applied and got a call and went for our auditions to this 5 star hotel. By the end of our third round it was really late and all these girls said, 'We are not going to eat and the waiter came with these club sandwiches and cold coffee. It looked awesome. I thought to myself, 'Wow, you get to have club sandwiches in the Miss India contest.' So I grabbed two club sandwiches and two cold coffees and that was probably the yummiest sandwich I ate in my life, but that was also the last time I ate one 12 years ago. After that you become so conscious and so aware and I constantly live these two lives. There is always this one Neha battling with the second Neha. There is one part of me that everyone wants me to be and the other part that is laid- back that understands that there is only one life. Anyways at the Miss India finale, I was the dark horse, but I won. I still remember Akshay Kumar and Preity Zinta were the judges and when my name was announced I could see them jumping high, as they had been rooting for me.
What did it mean to be a Miss India?
It was the best year of my life. I had no idea that this kind of a world and life existed. Overnight from some one who was just an ordinary girl playing sport and hanging out with the boys living in my track pants for 20 years of my life to become a high heels business class passenger, living in suites, I was thrown and taken aback. I still remember, we were in a double room in a 5-star hotel in Hyderabad, where the finale happened. My bags were moved the night I won into a suite. I woke up the next morning and opened the papers and it was me. I could not believe it. It was a big deal. I had put the rim of the tea cup by mistake on my photo and it left a mark on my picture. I wasn't sure if I would get another paper. I quickly called up house keeping and asked them for another paper if they didn't mind. They said, 'Ma'm, you are on the front page of the Times of India. We will give you 10 copies if you want.' We then had to go to Delhi the next day and it was so embarrassing for me when I cleared security as my bag was full of only copies of the newspaper carrying my picture. I had taken a copy for everybody as I didn't realise that it had come everywhere. I gave it to my mom and asked her to put it in the suitcase. It was life changing. I then went on to competing for Miss Universe where I reached the top 10, but lost the title.
What did you go through emotionally?
In one year of my life, I had seen what victory and defeat can do to you and how temporary everything is. From a girl, I became a woman. I moved out of home for the first time to Mumbai. My parents were brave and never stopped me, at the same time they knew I had my head between my shoulders and would never do anything to embarrass them or myself. I took my little apartment in Yari Road and for the first time the door bell rang, where first the newspaper would come, then the milk, then the maid and I knew that life had begun. I got my first film Qayamat thanks to Gracy Singh, as she did not show up on the set and thus was fired, as they told me. So they were looking for a girl who could do a water scene in a bikini. I owe my career to Gracy. When I was growing up, I would tell my mom, 'The moment I have one lakh in my bank account, I will retire.' Before I got my first film I would tell her, 'When I do one movie with a megastar, I will retire.' But you know what, I realised that it just doesn't work like that.
Will you get married?
Eventually yes, but not at the moment. I was in a really fine relationship some time ago, but had to give up only due to the long distance. It's only when my relationship was slipping out of my hands that I wished that I was working in a bank so that I could have moved to Washington DC without thinking twice.
Do you feel lonely at this point in life?
Yes, there are days when I feel very lonely. I feel that I should have someone in my life and I shouldn't have to think of just what is the next piece of clothing I will wear at the next event or the next film I should chase... it's never going to end. Everyone, who is living in this city, is just running and half of us don't even know what we are running behind. I am in that unfortunate list of people and so is my entire industry. Being in this industry, you experience so much as we get bashed so publically that even a relationship break does not hurt you as much as it would normally. It's not easy. You could develop a small tumour that you could throw out sometime or if it grows, you may explode someday.
Who are you most attached to?
My parents. I don't remember being an easy child, was always mischievious with a lot of friends, creating ruckus all the time. I always had more male friends than girl friends. I was always with the boys and wanted to play sport and become an athlete. My dream was to wear an India jersey and walk in an Olympic squad and bend down and get a medal. If my heart was cut into two, there would be my mother on one side and my father on the other. I am such a family person. They are both my biggest strength and my biggest weakness.
The one thing that my father doesn't like about me is that I fly off the handle, but he knows that I mean well. I say sorry to everybody. Sorry, please and thank you are my favourite words. I am very turned on by well-mannered people. I am not delusional at all. I can be happy in any situation, but need to improve my decision-making ability. I feel that I am ambitious but haven't fought hard enough. I took the best of what I got. As much I love being in the industry and that's my disclaimer, most people here love to preach. Oh, you should do this and don't do this. If you don't have anything for me, just say so. Don't give me this filmi jargon. I have been caking my face since 1998. Don't tell me what I should do or shouldn't. I am a girl who came from nowhere. I have had no sugar mamas and sugar daddys. Whatever I have done is me. And I am so proud of myself and at the end of it, at least I have slept well as it has been a very respectful journey. And that's the most important thing. I remember when I had won Miss India and returned home and I saw my dad. He had not answered any call, had not put on the TV, not opened the paper as he was waiting for me to return. He is a fauji man, but is so weak-hearted when it comes to me. His phone kept ringing again and again but he didn't take it though he knew it was good news as he wanted to hear it from me. He knew how much I had invested in it and wanted to just see me happy. My dad had never seen snow in his life and he always wanted to. We went for TOIFA last year and I was able to take him up to Whistler for him to see snow. I saw him cry with joy. He was like, my little child has made me do this and gave me his hug. At the end of it, when you feel it is all coming to an end, these are the flashes that stay in your head. They go anywhere and feel so proud of being my parents. It is very hard sometimes to just sit around waiting for that hug. That is what this city doesn't give you. It gives you everything but at the end of the day, just doesn't give you that hug.
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