Weight issues? Here’s another useless diet to add to your pile

I watched a documentary called 'Fat, sick and dying' the other day. It's about juicing and the positive effect a pure juice diet has on one's health.

Yes. Nothing but juice extracted from fruits and vegetables. I decided to try it (because I'm silly like that) and as with most things, I'm your guinea pig.

I will break down this latest fad for you and let you know whether or not, it works. I'm going for 30 days. Don't try this before consulting a doctor. That is a disclaimer for legal reasons - I don't think anyone actually ever consults a doctor before they jump off a cliff.

Day one: Only four hours into the cleanse and I'm STARVING. I want to eat something – Specifically, I'm longing for egg fried rice, dry chili beef, gang bao chicken, sweet and sour pork.

Throw in some chicken spring rolls.

Why I'm I craving Chinese food? I better snap out of it or risk starving to death. I bought a juicer today and I’m ready for my first whirl. Strawberries, lemons and apples have produced the most delicious juice ever! Yum yum.

I've forgotten about the Chinese food.

Day two: I woke up feeling very relaxed. I slept like a baby. I'm not sure whether that has anything to do with the juice cleanse or finally getting a night's sleep with no aid of red wine.

Cucumber, tomatoes, lemon, sweet red peppers, parsley and salad onion have produced quite a delicious concoction. Mm. This juicing thing is not half bad. Oh-oh. Trouble.

My neighbours are having a bash. They are grilling bar-be-que and delicious aromas from various dishes are coming my way. Too much temptation. I'm meant to hook up with a girlfriend of mine later for Sundowner with Pierre.

Can't do that either.

Day three: This has got to be the worst cleanse in history. I hate it. I'm so hungry.

Last night I dreamt about a cheeseburger with pickles, onions served with chunky fries covered in ketchup - My stomach was literally growling. I did not sleep well. It shows on my face.

Puffy. Listless. I need food. I kick off the day with two glasses of water. Then I have a cup of Chamomile herbal tea to calm me down. I don't even want to LOOK at the juicer right now. Sigh. This is going to be a long day. I want to crawl into bed and conserve what little energy I have left but there is a VIP friend of mine that is having a bash at his house today. I need to go for networking purposes. Let's just say that the people who show up for these bashes can make me a very wealthy lady. It will be silly not to go. But! It's a bash. Meaning loads of temptation. How will I pass up on delicious nyama choma? Pilau? Chicken? Mukimo?

Day four: Verdict so far: Juicing sucks! How do I go for another 27 days??? Stupidest idea ever!

Day five: I woke up with a bout of energy today. I managed to take in a Tae Bo class in the evening. I feel great!

Day six: Day eight. JUICING SUCKS!

Day nine: I quit.

There are those that swear by this juicing plan (I know someone that has dropped 20kg) but I do not recommend it. Sure, your skin looks great but you are constantly hungry, constipated and you will miss chewing your food. I lost some weight on it but I suspect it’s merely water weight. It’s never that serious. As far as fads go, yes, juicing is another useless diet to add to the pile.