Review: '108 Stitches' full of unfunny nonsense

• Critic%27s review%3A 1.5 stars

In "National Lampoon's Animal House," John Vernon played Vernon Wormer, the evil university dean. In the dopey new comedy "108 Stitches," the actor's daughter, Kate Vernon, plays a villainous college president named Jennine Wormer Pratt. The character even talks to a photo of her dad at one point, and the elder Vernon is pictured.

Now, I don't know if the producers of "Animal House" can sue, but do they really want their movie associated with dreck like this? "108 Stitches" wants to be a gross-out comedy in the "Van Wilder" or "Old School" tradition, but A) it isn't funny, and B) it isn't gross. It isn't even particularly raunchy, as far as these things go. In other words, no nudity, for those who keep track of that sort of thing.

The silliness is set at a college in Orem, Utah. The baseball team has a dismal record, the president wants to kill the program and there's a recruit named Phan Quan (comic Dat Phan) from Saigon visiting the campus. The only English Quan knows comes from American baseball films, so he runs around quoting "A League of Their Own" and "Field of Dreams" a lot. His entrances are also accompanied by tinkling, Asian-sounding music on the soundtrack. It's that kind of movie.

There is also comic Josh Blue (one of four writers credited) as one of the players. Blue has cerebral palsy, as does his character, so he gets to say lines like "What are you gonna do? Put me on the disabled list?"

The movie wastes the fine Bruce Davison, who plays the team's coach. Also swimming around this mess is Larry Thomas, best known as the soup Nazi from "Seinfeld;" at one point, a character tells him "No soup for you."

Like the "Animal House" connection, it's a stupid move on the filmmakers' part. Why bring up projects we enjoyed while we're stuck watching your lousy movie? It's like the server at Jack in the Box telling you about a Michelin-starred restaurant down the street.

Review: '108 Stitches,' 1.5 stars

Director: David Rountree.

Cast: Ryan Carlberg, Erin Cahill, Bruce Davison, Dat Phan.

Rating: R for profanity and sexual situations.

Reach the reporter at randy.cordova@arizonarepublic.com or 602-444-8849. Twitter.com/randy_cordova.