It was a miracle that Joan Rivers could move her mouth after years of plastic surgery, and when she did, she kept the "bleep" button in business.
The tributes - and wisecracks in her memory - flowed thick and fast on Friday after her passing in the US, a week after Rivers, 81, was put on life support following a heart attack during a routine surgical procedure. Her family made the decision to take the iconic comedian off life support on Thursday. It is understood she died shortly after.
Australians gaped at her verbal missiles on television TVat the Golden Globes and Oscars, but at the 2006 Logies, she delivered a first-class serve in person.
Presenting an award with Richard Wilkins, the Channel Nine entertainment guru tried to introduce her but she kept butting in: "They don't know who the shit I am".
One smart lady: Acerbic comedian Joan Rivers would surely have a barbed quip for her many bereft fans.Credit: Reuters
Wilkins persisted: "It's a great honour to have an absolute icon..." Rivers continued: "I don't know why the f--k I'm here". Yes, Rivers had a knack for saying what people are thinking, especially with Australian award nights needing a top overseas guest to elevate our lopped tall poppies.
She then said: "John Wood, you were fabulous in bed last night." Wilkins presented her with a pink Logie, after she'd said on radio that she wanted one, but she flung it behind her back, declaring: "It's the ugliest award I have ever seen".
Wilkins is mourning the friend he met at the Oscars and has the "untold" Logies story. She asked to appear with him and they went through the routine "a 1000 times" but one thing was unrehearsed: her dropping the F-bomb. He told her not to swear because it was a family show. As they walked off stage, he said: "You're a bloody cheeky old bag." She insisted: "They told me I could say it!"
Few were spared a barb from Rivers, especially Russell Crowe, who tweeted: "Dear Joan, 12 years being the butt of your jokes ... Then we met, had a laugh and I learned you were something amazing. Shine on. RIP".
That was magnanimous of Rusty because in 2008 when Rivers was a guest on the UK talk show Loose Women, she said about celebrities: "You get someone like Russell Crowe and you want to say to the camera he is a piece of – get ready to bleep this – a piece of f--king shit".
After she was thrown off the show for her loose lips, she told the Daily Mail: "Yes, I swore and I'm so f---ing sorry".
Australian comedian Joel Creasey thanks Rivers for inspiring him to be a stand-up comedian after watching YouTube clips of her when he was 15. In a return serve, the pint-sized American grenade ended up giving him a break by asking him to open her show last November in New York's Hell's Kitchen after she came across a YouTube video of him.
Creasey wrote a tribute to Rivers on Facebook, saying he saw her three weeks ago when he opened another show for her. When he walked off stage, she said: "Joel Creasey, come back here". After some chit-chat she told him to "get the f--k off the stage" as it was her time to perform.
When Rivers was in Melbourne for the Logies, she fumed that promoter Andrew McManus booked her to do matinee shows at the Palms at Crown – they have a certain blue-rinse appeal – and the unsold tickets ended up as freebies for buses of senior citizens.
Rivers even joked about it at a press conference, offering to put her tiny audience on stage and perform from the floor.
Publicist Michael Wilkie worked with the comedian in 2003 and when he informed her about the day's busy schedule, she said: "What else am I going to do – sit in my hotel room and flush the toilet to see it going the opposite way to where I live?"
Brenton Geyer was the director of the gay and lesbian Midsumma Festival and invited her to judge the dog show. Wearing a lemon twin set and skirt, she looked like a "little old lady" but when she got on stage, he said: "What a tornado!"
When Lillian Frank, a woman of a certain age, met Rivers, a woman who's age is uncertain, the American said: "You look good but are you good?" They got on like a house on fire and just as well there were no flames because Rivers' face would have melted.
The final word goes to Rivers. In her book, I Hate Everyone ... Starting with Me, she planned her funeral: "I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents".
with Michael Idato