Why Bollywood needs this Bhatt

OK, so all of you who hate AIB's spoof on Alia Bhatt, I have three names for you: Archana Puran Singh, Navjot Singh Sidhu, Kapil Sharma.

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Why Bollywood needs this Bhatt
Alia Bhatt

OK, so all of you who hate AIB's spoof on Alia Bhatt, I have three names for you: Archana Puran Singh, Navjot Singh Sidhu, Kapil Sharma.

If you don't find anything redeeming about a young star willing to laugh at herself, willing to go from "Dolce & Gabbana to smart like Shabana," then you deserve a lifetime of Archana Puran Singh's laughter, Sidhu's muhavras and Kapil Sharma's misogynistic jokes.

Alia Bhatt
The spoof featuring Alia Bhatt has gone viral.

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Can you offer yourself as comedy fare and turn your silliness into a long running gag? Can you end a supposed PR stunt designed to make you look intelligent by reiterating your own lack of general knowledge (Alia says she's so smart she could be India's first female prime minister)?

Can you co-opt your supposed boyfriend and supposed biggest rival into the said gag? More important, can you dance in tune to a song saying Faraday, Faraday?


Bollywood loves women who keep their mouths shut except to utter beauty queen homilies, usually learnt at beauty pageants. It loves women who become famous by dating famous men, openly or clandestinely.

It loves women who do "'art" cinema only after making Rs 100 crore blockbusters playing pretty props to muscled heroes or when they're about to get married or when they're trying to stage a comeback or if the director is Mani Ratnam (anything for Mani Sir, you know).
It loves women who bitch about other heroines.

Now here's Alia, who got the perfect Bollywood start, in a Karan Johar movie, romancing two boys, wearing designer dresses and carrying big label bags like weapons of mass destruction.

And there's Alia willing to do a road movie on the back of a truck, kiss her hero, without saying she's doing it only because the script demanded it, and use less make-up than Varun Dhawan in Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya.

Do I admire her only because she is young, rich, talented and thin? Maybe. But I do hope that this little Bhatt goes a long, long bhay, I mean way.