"Sex is more important than love"

Time truly flies. I still rememeber meeting him for the first time at director Nikhil Advani’s office. He a 140 kilo boy, sitting languidly, drawling about some pictures that I wanted. Seems like yesterday. Today l’m sitting in front of this strapping young man, three hits behind him already... Sometimes, I can’t reconcile the two. They are so far apart. But one thing remains constant. Arjun Kapoor is all heart. He’s unrelentingly affable. Yes, he loves to pull your leg, loves to crack jokes at your expense. But only because he’s fond of you. He disarms you with his candour. Rues the fact that he can’t indulge the foodie in him any more. Talks about girls and of course Alia Bhatt. Speaks honestly about being lonely, about missing his mom... Excerpts:

What if you weren’t born with a silver spoon?
I’m born with it so why consider a hypothetical question. It wasn’t that I chose this. This was chosen for me. This is my destiny. I was born, as you say, with a silver spoon in this industry or in this family. So why think about it.  Or else, my life would have been different. I’ve never thought of it as my destiny neither do I shy away from it. I’m proud of this family and of this legacy, which I will carry forward

One thing Arjun Kapoor would never want to be.
Useless, jobless! I’d never want to be out of work. I’d never want to be just my father’s son.  I’d want to be more than that.

If you wake up one morning to find out that you haven’t lost all the weight (which you have), what would you do?
I would begin eating. I feel so food deprived these days. If I wake up and realise that I haven’t lost the weight, I’m not going to make the effort all over again. What I’ve gone through to lose this weight, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. So, if I were to see all the weight back on me, I would say screw it boss. I’d direct films and go back to eating.  Right now, I’m constantly looking at other people eating. And saying ‘no’ all the time gets to you some day. It’s the perks of being an actor that you’re being paid billion times more than those in the unit. So they can have Mathura ka peda and Agra ka petha and ice-creams and chocolates. But you’re supposed to behave yourself.

There must be some middle path where you can eat and still look good…
I don’t think so. If I put on even two kilos the media talks as though I’ve put on 20 kilos. But they don’t know about the journey I’ve been through to lose the weight. So one bad picture in the media and they will be like arre yeh toh phir se mota ho gaya! Arrey iss ki taange kitni badi hai! With success, the scrutiny increases. No one notices that  I’m actually thinner than I’ve ever been. But they are quick to say he was thinner in Ishaqzade. One bad image and they make me feel as if I have put on 65 kilos. I have to be extra careful because I’m a big structured guy. My conscience should be clear. I shouldn’t look at the photo and say, ‘Oh! I shouldn’t have had that pizza!’ That guilt would eat me.

It isn’t fair na?
No it isn’t. Some people can eat whatever they want. Llike Ranveer (Singh) eats whatever he wants but he doesn’t put on weight. Priyanka (Chopra) has a huge appetite; Anushka (Sharma) feels hungry every 15-20 minutes. But if I eat even a morsel of biryani, it shows the next morning.

One thing you wouldn’t want to change about your lifestyle…
My workout regime.  I’m pretty dedicated to the gym. I work out before going for shooting; I go after pack-up. I don’t miss it. When I’m not shooting I’m in the gym.

What else do you do when you’re not shooting?
I sleep or enjoy faffing. I like my bed. I love watching TV lying on it. I enjoy eating ghar ka khana and watching DVDs or stepping out to meet my friends. Ideally, being on bed the whole day is my thing.

Who do you seek advice from?
My sister Anshula, my nani (grandma and producer Sattee Shourie), my maasi, dad (filmmaker Boney Kapoor) and Adi (Aditya Chopra) and even Salman bhai (Khan). If it’s professional then it’s dad and Adi. If it’s personal then naani, maasi and Anshula. Salman bhai for everything else in general. I like to update Salman bhai about what I’m doing and how I should go about it.

What troubles you on most days?
There’s a sense of void, which I try to fill with work but it doesn’t happen. That troubles me. I’ll keep working hard and hope someday it gets filled.

How would you define loneliness?
It’s a vacuum - a feeling of nothingness. You’re devoid of any emotion. It’s a state where you can’t think. There’s a deep hole in your heart. Life is sucked out of you when you feel that loneliness, when there’s no one to call or talk to at home. You are alone.

Have you experienced this kind of loneliness?
Yes. Several times in the past few years ever since my mom (the late Mona Kapoor) passed away.

Aren’t you ever happy?
I’m happier than I have ever been in terms of where I began, in the hits I’ve had…  If you’d met me earlier, you’d have found me much happier because I had my mother.

On a bad day what calms you down?
Food and friends.

What does love mean to you?
Love is happiness, friendship, compatibility. If you are truly happy it must be love.

So what are you looking for in a girl?
Every time you have a prototype in your head, it breaks. If you expect I want such a girl, an entire lifetime will pass by but you won’t get her. Unfortunately, this profession demands a lot of your time. So the girl should understand the demands of the profession. That’s why we end up being with girls who are co-stars because they understand the stress. You travel extensively; you’re away for days. While promoting a film you reach home at midnight and start your day at 6 am. You can’t do the normal things. There are constraints in a relationship. If the girl understands that then you can fly in a relationship. Then I can be a pretty decent boyfriend. But I can never call up a producer and say I’ll come 10 minutes late because my girlfriend is angry. That would be unprofessional. I’d need her to understand that if I have to attend an event at 8pm, I’ll only be able to meet her for dinner once I’m done, say by 11pm.

What turns you off in a woman?
All looks and no talk. If you’re just a good looker and you can’t sustain a conversation beyond three minutes then that’s a big turn off for me.

What’s a turn on?
If she’s hard to get. Alia (Bhatt) is hard to get... No actually, she’s an intelligent girl. She’s not easy to get. Physically, it would be the lips. I’ve a tendency to stare at women’s lips when they talk. The fun is in the chase.

What do you find attractive about Alia?
She laughs from her heart and if she likes something she will grunt. She has got the nicest laugh in the world. Also, she’s totally unassuming. She doesn’t understand the meaning of the word. That’s how unassuming she is. She’s fearless too. She knows at this age she’s open to a lot of flak being an actor. But she’s like screw it, I can take it on.

Deepika Padukone, Priyanka or Anushka… Who would you pick?
Deepika. Because she’s a friend.  Even Priyanka’s a friend. But Deepika and I go back a long way. I’ve known Deepika since her early days in the industry around seven-eight years back when she was dating Ranbir (Kapoor). We’ve bonded well since then. It’s good between us. Ranveer and I are good friends too.

What’s the ugly truth about men?
That they rate sex over love.  Sex is more important than love for men

How do you react when women make a pass at you?
I’m flattered to have become worthy of a woman’s pass.  Earlier women didn’t do that. I take it as a huge compliment.

Are you a good judge of people?
Yes. I’ve been on the periphery of this profession for a long time. I’ve seen this industry closely. I can tell if someone is faking it.

Are you a party animal?
Once in a while, I do party.  But I’m the dinner, great food, great conversation kind of a guy. I need to hear the other person. I can’t bear noise around me. As it is, there’s chaos happening in my head all the time. I’d just like to sit and chill with my friends. I don’t like too many people around me whom I don’t know. Then I go into a shell.  But once in a while I like to go get wasted. Nowadays of course there’s no privacy. If you get drunk a picture will be taken. Not that I fear it.
 
What’s the one wild thing that you have done?
Once after a one nightstand, I didn’t have a car to go home. I was stranded!

Are you good with confrontation or do you avoid them?
I avoid them because I am emotional.  I give a second chance, give the benefit of a doubt, try to forget it but when I can’t take it any longer, I explode.  I’m not short-tempered but if I get upset then I get really upset. So I avoid confrontation. But finally the smallest thing can make me slap someone.

What adjective do your friends use for you?
Busybee. They also refer to me as grumpy and groggy as I look like that half of the time.

What are you vices?
I avoid drinking. Smoking is my only vice.
 
What’s your holiday state of mind?
I’m dying to go on a holiday. But the biggest problem is that I don’t have anyone to go with. On a holiday, I do all I love doing… sleeping till late, eating and blowing up money.  I go to a place where there is a beach to hang out, great shopping and awesome food. I go all out because I deserve it. n   



Things you love about yourself

I’m well-behaved. I never misbehave.

 I’m far more punctual than my father has ever been.

I can be both laidback and energetic at the same time. On the set, I’ll be resting, resting and then suddenly I’ll have this burst of energy and I’ll do what I have to do.


Things you hate about yourself…

I can be the laziest person in the world. 

I’m too emotional. I take everything to heart.  I hide it well though.

I’m moody and not too many people like it.

I can’t wake up on my own.