Most people do not know how to be happy, as they search for happiness outside. When they are praised or their expectations and desires get fulfilled they feel happy. But they feel sad when they are criticised or their ego is hurt or their expectations aren’t met. So we need to ask: Is our happiness in others’ hands?
Whoever knows the answer of this question will live happily in all the situations of life — favourable or unfavourable.
In a party, a friend asked her friend as to whether her husband makes her happy? “You always seem to be happy. Does your husband take care of you so well?”
The husband, who was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation. He had always been a good husband and was always there for his wife. He was feeling secure and even filling his chest lightly with pride knowing that his spouse would answer affirmatively.
However, to his surprise, the wife replied, “No, he doesn’t make me happy.”
The husband was horrified. He couldn’t believe what his wife had uttered. To the amazement of her husband and of everyone, she continued: “No, he doesn’t make me happy. I make myself happy. The fact, that I am happy or not, doesn’t depend on him, but depends on me. I am the only person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!”
Everything that exists in this life changes continually: humans, wealth, emotions, behaviour, body, climate, choices etc. and if you make your happiness depend on someone then you would never be happy.
The wife continued: “I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of ‘experiences or circumstances’. Happiness will always be found in forgiveness and in loving yourself and others. It’s not the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy. He also has his emotional ups and down and when I see them not being compatible with me, I remain silent and do not react negatively. Despite of various difficult situations and pressures of daily life, I love him and he loves me.”
Unknowingly, we give the remote control of our happiness to others around us, to the situations that we face, to the amount of money we earn etc. But what we forget is that only we have the ability to bring happiness into our lives.
Being happy is an attitude towards life and each one of us must decide whether we want to stay happy temporarily, in phases or we want to stay happy perpetually. We need to find happiness within.
Sri Rameshji Jain is a modern age spiritual guru and founder of Poorna Ananda, a centre for spiritual evolution and joyful living.
Visit www.poornaananda.org
