Amour and honesty as explained by cutting-edge scientific studies

Quite a lot of what's called research these days seems to employ the methods of Shamrock Jolnes, the writer O Henry’s crime-solving American counterpart to a similar sounding chap living across the pond. Whereas the latter goes all red in the face following some sort of science of deduction, eliminating all possibilities till just the truth remains, Shamrock simply jumps to a conclusion and proceeds to prove it.

This, patently, saves time, drama and paper. This noble sentiment seems to be the guiding principle for academics frenetically staving off the "publish or perish" spectre. Now, two new studies "prove" men adopt a sing-song tone when talking to women they find attractive, and that people who are early risers are more likely to be dishonest at night, whereas the late-nighters can be a bit dodgy in the mornings.

Tales of yore would have it that many men go all fidgety, shifty and downright speechless when attempting to initiate talks with the object of affections. Even a certain cutesy romantic charm was associated with that. Now, of course, you must warble like a bird high on grubs in a lush green forest.

But what happens if a late-nighter meets the lady, say, early in the morning? Would the note of dishonesty crack the warbling tune? What we need, thus, is another survey to explain and sum it all up....