Have you been running away from getting married fearing the serious rituals? Or are you the one who always ditches attending your friends' D-day shying away from the boring ceromonies? Reading this may just change you mind! Here's a look at some communities that make weddings less solemn and more fun.
A traditional Coorgi wedding is perhaps the only Hindu wedding ceremony where dancing, alcohol and meat (especially pork curry) are a must. But apart from that,
Coorgis also follow customs that are symbolic reminders of the old days, when men fought for the women they loved, and were rewarded with the lady’s hand in marriage.
In one custom, a line of six or seven banana shoots are placed on the ground. The groom or his brother has to chop off each shoot with a traditional Coorgi knife. This has to be done with a single blow. If he fails, he is greeted with taunts. Of course, he does get a second chance to prove his valour.
In another tradition, the bride performs Ganga puja where she has to carry a matka (pot) on her head, fi ll it with water and return to her in-laws’ home. But here’s where
it gets interesting. She has to do all this while men from the groom’s side block her path by dancing in front of her. This is symbolic of the old days, when a bride used to step
out of her in-laws’ home for the fi rst time to draw water. On her way back, she is usually teased by young village boys, and she has to be strong to be able to cross them and
return home. This custom is incorporated in the wedding ceremony, to test the bride’s presence of mind.
Tease the new couple like the Gujuratis
A Gujarati wedding is usually a fun-filled affair. There’s a great deal of dancing to look forward to. And you can count on relatives and friends to play a few good-natured pranks on the couple. They also lovingly tease the newly-weds and incorporate many interesting rituals into the wedding ceremony and the events that precede it, to make the whole wedding
a more memorable one. In one such ritual called jaan, the groom arrives at the bride’s house to seek his mother-in-law’s blessings. As a custom, he bows his head and
clutches his nose. This gesture is meant to show his humility and understanding of the tremendous sacrifice his future wife is about to make. As he rises, the mother-inlaw
tries to catch his nose, to remind him that he’s the one asking for their daughter and it is up to them to give her away.
Aeki beki is another fun ritual between the bride and groom that also involves close family members and friends. A tray or pot of water is mixed with milk and vermillion, into which a ring and a few coins are thrown. The bride and groom are given seven chances to fish out the ring. Whoever fi nds the ring is considered the one who will rule the roost.
Tie the couple in a knot like the Oriyas
One of the main customs in an Oriya wedding is the handi mangala, where the bride’s brother embraces the groom to convince him to marry his sister—and he doesn’t let go till the groom agrees. The Oriyas also tie the bride’s and groom’s hands to a kalash. Following this, in the sala bidha ritual, the bride’s brother pats the groom on the back amid guffaws—a gesture meant to threaten him to take care of his sister.
The game of koudi khela decides who will dominate the marriage. Koudis (sea shells) and stones are placed in a tray full of yoghurt mixed with water. The bride needs to collect as many koudis as possible and the groom is asked to open her fi st. Then the roles are reversed. The partner whose fist cannot be pried open is declared the dominating one in
the relationship.
Play peek-a-boo like the Bengalis
The shubho drishti is the most auspicious moment in a Bengali wedding. The bride is seated on a low wooden stool called pidi, and is lifted by her brothers. They make seven complete circles around the groom. The bride covers her face with two betel leaves, so as to not allow the groom to see her. All the women present let out a long ululating cry, and blow conch shells. They also ensure that the groom doesn’t get a sneak peek. Just before garlands are exchanged, the bride puts away the betel leaves, and the couple is allowed to gaze directly into each other’s eyes.
But don’t be under the impression that Bengali weddings are all about being coy. Once the religious rituals are done with, the Bengalis indulge in bizarre, but amusing customs. Traditionally, the newly-wed couple is not allowed to be alone together on their wedding night. So, to make sure the couple doesn’t break the tradition, close cousins and other family members have the bashor ghar, where they keep the couple awake all night by performing skits and cracking jokes. In the wee hours of the morning, the bride and the groom are made to play games against each other. Depending on the results, forecasts are made about their marriage. When the bride first enters her new home—that is after the traditional griha pravesh and aarti—she is made to hold a live fish. If the fish wriggles in her hands, she will have a peaceful household. According to an old wives’ tale, this fish, when eaten by women, makes them more whimsical and prone to throwing tantrums!
Bribe the groom like the Punjabis
Boisterous and fun-loving—those are two words that, perhaps, best describe both Punjabis and their weddings. Even non-Punjabis are no strangers to the joota chupai custom—a fun tradition made memorable in many Bollywood fi lms. As the main wedding ceremony is performed, the bride’s sisters steal the groom’s unattended shoes and return them only after he pays a ‘fee.’ It’s not always easy; participants from the groom’s side make it a point to watch over and protect his shoes and ensure the bride’s sisters don’t make away with them. Nevertheless, this tradition is practised to remind the groom that he has to make sacrifices in exchange for taking away the bride.
Back home, the groom is targeted again, but this time by his own sisters. When a groom brings home his wife, his sisters block the entrance to the house and demand money to let them in. It is only after he offers shagun that he is allowed to enter. Apart from this, the bride and groom are also made to play games with each other. One of them is much like the aeki beki tradition in a Gujarati wedding—a ring is dropped into a bowl of milk and the couple is asked to fi nd it. Whoever finds the ring is proclaimed the winner and is expected to be the dominant partner in the relationship. During the jaimala or varamala ritual, the bride and groom have to compete to put the garland on each other fi rst, as it is believed that whoever puts it fi rst will have the upper hand in the marriage.
There’s another interesting custom that most young women in the bride’s family look forward to. The leaves on the kaleere (silver or gold-plated ornaments tied around the wrists) that a Punjabi bride wears are said to signify the number of friends she has. During the bidaai, the bride clangs her kaleere over the heads of unmarried women in her family, and if
a part of the kaleere falls on any of them, it is said that she will be the next one to get married.
Play catch and break appalams like the Tamilians
The nalangu custom in Tamil weddings originated when girls and boys were married at a young age and were made to play games to help break the ice. These include breaking
appalams or papads over each other’s heads, snatching a bunch of betel leaves from each other and playing ball with a coconut! In malai maathal or the garlanding ritual, the bride and groom are hoisted on to the shoulders of their maternal uncles and garland each other thrice to complete their union. This function is fi lled with joy and laughter, as the couple is teased by their uncles, who try to keep them away from each other. In the oonjal tradition, the couple sits on a swing.
They’re given sweets to eat and evil spirits are kept at bay with coloured balls of cooked rice that are waved around them. Tamilian Brahmins believe that a young man has two choices: to be a householder or an ascetic. So on the morning of the wedding, the groom pretends to make his way to Kashi in a ceremony called Kasi yatra. The bride’s father then stops him, advising him to marry someone he can spend his life with and tackle everyday challenges with.
Do things your own way like the Syrian Christians
Syrian Christians do everything their own way. During the bridal shower, the bride distributes pink cakes to her friends. But be careful before you bite into it—one of the pieces will have a thimble hidden inside. It is believed that the girl who finds the thimble is next in line to get married. Before the wedding, a sari called the mantra kodi is sent to the bride’s house. The groom hands over the sari to his sister who removes a thread and twists it into a chord. A leaf-shaped gold pendant with a cross over it is then hung on this chord. This is then tied around the bride’s neck for good luck.
Go through the Parsis’ test of dominance
In a Parsi wedding, the groom is made to witness a series of funny customs till his sisters-in-law convince him to give them enough dough. In the haath boravanu ceremony, the groom is made to put his hand in a glass of water and is not allowed to remove it until he pays up. If the groom still doesn’t give in, the sisters-in-law threaten to pour milk on the groom’s shoes in a custom called pag dhovanu. Ara antar is the Parsis’ test of dominance. The groom and the bride are made to sit facing each other and a cloth is held in between them. Both are given handfuls of rice and asked to throw it over to the other side. The one who successfully manages to shower the other with rice is considered more dominating.
UNUSUAL WEDDING CUSTOMS ELSEWHERE
Jewish: The bride and groom step on an empty glass covered with a cloth and break it as a reminder of the destruction of temples in Jerusalem.
Sudanese: A ritual called the nincak endog takes places where seven broomsticks are burnt and then thrown away, symbolising the discarding of bad habits that endanger married life.
Russian: During the reception, the guests throw their champagne glasses on the floor. In a traditional orthodox wedding, the bride and the groom need to race each other to a special carpet on which they recite the vows. It is believed that whoever reaches the carpet first will be the head of the household.
French: The French have a custom called chiverie, where the guests startle the couple by banging pots and pans together and making loud noises.
Scottish: The Scots have the ‘blackening the bride’ custom—a fun albeit messy tradition. The couple’s friends and relatives drench the bride in the foulest substances they can find, including stale milk, sauces, fish, meat, etc. The bride is then taken to bars and clubs, after which she cleans up.