How to be a civil civilian

The word civil has two meanings: one differentiates ordinary citizens from those who have been conscripted into military service and the other simply means courteous and polite.

It is this second meaning that is so important to life in the city.

Civil is a word that tends to worm itself into other important words. One of them is civilisation. I imagine that getting civilised is the process of becoming more courteous and more polite.

There are three ways that this can happen:  You can be born into civilisation, you can be raised into civilisation or you can be educated into civilisation.

I think Kenyans are making a big effort to implement the latter two methods of producing good behaviour, and we would probably be making some headway if it were not for the counterproductive forces created by mobile phones.

I hope that I am not alone in noting that these gadgets are highly un-civilising. If courtesy dictates that a person should look at the person they are speaking to then the mobile phone prescribes that their hands and face should be busy doing something else.

If politeness recommends that a person should walk steadily in one direction while causing minimal disruption to the flow of traffic then the mobile phone suggests that you stop abruptly as soon as it rings thus causing the people who were walking behind you to wish that you had tail lights!

Indeed, if there is any requirement that is part of the code of good manners, then it is the prerogative of the mobile phone to ensure that it is violated.

In any civilisation the ordinary, run-of-the-mill type of person is known as a civilian and we certainly expect civilians to be civil.

However, if wishes were horses all beggars would ride. It is really very hard to be a civil civilian in this civilisation.

RESTORING COURTESY

Try holding a door open to facilitate the passage of a fellow Kenyan and one of three things will happen.

Either you will cause a stampede because everyone wants to get past before you change your mind, or else no one will move because they are suspicious of your motives, or a few people will walk carefully past you with a look on their faces that says they are concerned about your mental status.

The same holds for any other attempt to increase the safety and comfort of your fellow human beings.  According to a Kenyan there is a very fine line to be drawn between civility and insanity and the polite are clearly an endangered species.

There is a specific group of civilians that are supposed to be more civil than your ordinary civilians, and these are the civil servants. A civil servant is not only expected to be mannerly but also to devotedly, helpfully and supportively perform duties on behalf of others.

Indeed, like the proverbial bridegroom, a civil servant should not only hold the door open but also carry you over the threshold. 

My favourite civil servant joke that exemplifies the reality of the servant civility in government can be found on the website www.funny-haha.co.uk. It concerns a civil service entrance exam in which one of the questions is:

1. If you are about to take your lunch break and a female member of the general public comes with an inquiry, you should address her by saying:

a. Can I help you, madam?

b. Can I help you, miss?

c. What can I do you for, rafiki?

d. Sasa, baby-doll?

The correct answer is: None of the above. This is a trick question. If you are about to take your lunch break, you shouldn’t talk to her at all.

Whether you are civilised, a civilian or a civil servant it’s time to restore courtesy to our Kenyan vocabulary. However, this Saturday, don’t even get me started on the relationship between the root word  “polite” and words like police, politician and politics!