Celebrity hair stylist, actor and philanthropist Sapna Bhavnani has never shied away from being vocal about her personal style, her choices and the causes she believes in. Earlier this year, she spoke about a painful chapter from her past in the acclaimed play, Nirbhaya. She made it clear she wouldn’t cower as a victim. Yet, she tells you that she is no hero. Here’s an excerpt from the interview where the diva time and again inspires us to Be Unstoppable!
You have a very unique style, how do you respond to criticism from traditional thinkers? Does negative feedback unnerve you?
To be honest, after Bigg Boss when I started getting more pro-active with my goals and began going to villages to get more involved with the people there, it was amazing to see how no one judged me for my inked body or my hair or clothing or whatever (there’s always something right?). The purpose to go on the show was just that. To let remote India know that women like me also exist in this country and I think the job was done. Villagers (from nanis to dadis, and aais to baikos, mard and sarpanch) embraced me with open arms. So if you’re talking about traditional thinkers like them, I’ve had no problem. It’s the ‘cool’ people that judge the most.
Negative feedback is motivation to do more. So I welcome it. I honestly thank the host of the show for his manly brutality because it propelled me to another plane. It made me realise me that people are not bad; they are just ignorant sometimes, and if you take the time out and nourish them with love, they will come around. Hence I started ‘Flower Power’—a group of lovely individuals who visit hospitals, villages, NGOs, schools, shelters and use their natural senses to listen and heal people. In the end, everyone wants to feel loved. As Martin Luther King Jr said, “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
You’ve challenged quite a few standard perceptions of beauty. What, according to you, should define a woman's beauty? Or, should there be a definition of beauty at all?
There is no greater love than self. There is no greater beauty than honesty.
What message do you have for women who want to try something new, but are worried about being judged?
Words and messages are not my style. I live my life on my terms. Enough said.
You spoke about a very painful experience in the play Nirbhaya. How difficult was it to be vocal about such an incident?
To be honest, Nirbhaya has not reached most Indians yet, and I have realised most do not know my story. The time has come to be more vocal about my story, so I am working on something that will travel across India extensively—it will be like a nautanki. There is a reason I waited so long to come out with my story. I did not want to be labelled a ‘hero’ because of some bad s**t that I had no control over happened to me. That is not acceptable to me. I wanted people to respect me for my work first and then come out. This was very important. I am no hero. I am no celebrity. I am as messed up or as happy as the next. I laugh, I cry, I inhale and, most importantly, I exhale.
What would you say to other women who want to come out and rage about crimes against them?
I know I look like a marauder, which I am in many ways, but rage and peddle pushers are just not my style. Anymore. At the risk of sounding corny and completely losing my title of ‘the queen of cool,’ I have to admit I’ve become ‘ticking love bomb’ (laughs). I have seen the changes in me and in others around me the minute I dropped the charade of rage. Rage stems from fear and fear is an emotion I’m unfamiliar with, so why the ‘rage’? For example, I think it’s stupid when we hurl abusive curses at rickshaw wallahs because we think they are always looking at us with lust. If the same person was a guy dressed in a ‘presentable’ package, we’d actually be flattered. We are as much to blame for touch being bad as they are for touching.
This is my reasoning. I’ve started touching my rickshaw wallah (a gentle hand on the shoulder) when I speak to him. I even hug my watchman when he does something nice for me. I have taken it upon myself to break these ridiculous barriers of touch that we have built around ourselves. Instead of cussing them out, I’ve started asking them: “Bhaisaab, problem kya hai? Kabhi ladki nahi dekhi?” I have started understanding their lives and the difficulties they face everyday. A few years ago, I was doing a ‘free hugs’ campaign for an AR Rahman video and I remember I went to a rickshaw stand. I was wearing a mini skirt and a Mohawk, and stood there with my ‘free hug’ sign. I kid you not, I hugged almost a hundred of them and not one touched me inappropriately. This is the power of submission. Let me tell you my favourite quote from Bulleh Shah: “Jo na jaane haq ki taqat, Rab na dehve usko himmat.” God does not give courage to those who do not know the power of their own strength. Yes, I have become a believer.