“There is nothing to do, mom. I am so bored,” seven-year-old Priya complained to her mother. Lekha, a young professional had opted to work from home during her son’s summer holidays. She was at her wits end as eight-year-old Rahul pestered her and demanded constant attention. He said he was bored though he was surrounded by every conceivable electronic gadget.
Boredom is a modern-day, urban phenomenon says Dr. Gowri Devi, a Hyderabad-based child psychiatrist. Not so long ago, no one cared about youngsters getting bored but now, parents, teachers and indeed, the whole world is involved in the business of fighting boredom and evidently failing. “It is the awareness of possibilities, accessibilities, exposure and low-level of frustration tolerance that leads to boredom,” she says. The more options children have, the more likely they are to get bored. This explains why children from affluent families with access to a variety of toys and activities also complain of being bored.
When a child says he is bored it simply means that he has lost the capacity to entertain himself. Parents bend over backwards to amuse their children. But according to psychologists, this may do more harm than good because children may never learn to take on the responsibility to motivate themselves for their happiness or comfort.
Bored kids neither listen nor try. They are irritable and more likely to show aggressive behaviour towards parents and siblings. This is a generation growing up in a complex, highly stimulating world – a generation that gets frustrated easily.
This creates boredom leading to anxiety and depression says Dr. Gowri. ‘Bored’ could also suggest a feeling as well as mood such as sad, anxious, irritated or disappointed, she feels. “Help your children with vocabulary words to describe what is going on in their minds.” We live in a society where children are used to being entertained. As parents we take pleasure in providing our children with opportunities to have a good holiday but at the same time our lives cannot revolve around them. We need to help them inculcate the habit of taking care of their free time — the ability to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. This will make them self-reliant.
Let them seek out challenges that interest them, or learn to self-motivate. Children who constantly depend on others become restless adults, constantly seeking stimulation and distraction.
Summer holidays are a stressful time for parents, especially, working parents. During school days they schedule children after classes with tuitions and hobby class. But during holidays they find it very difficult to keep them occupied through the day. Children spend hours watching TV, playing video games or surfing the internet. This is worrisome for parents as they fear the “B” word.
Give your children the gift of entertaining themselves with inexpensive toys/ games. Teach them to derive pleasure from simple things in life, such as playing team games.
So the next time, you hear your child say he is bored, do not feel obligated to provide him diversion. He will find ways to entertain himself – eventually. A motivated child is one who seeks new experiences, takes on challenges and not one who is always protected from boredom.
(The writer is a remedial educator and you can reach her atrajfarida@gmail.com)
