What comes to your mind when I say the following: Rajma chawal? Jeera aloo? Pepper rasam? Prawn gassi? Undhiyu? Gatta nu shaak? Be honest. Not a lot, right? Your reaction is more visceral ? your mouth starts to water. The truth is Indian food is nothing short of brilliant. It is simple yet complex. The variety is astounding. The layering of spices is similar to that of a scientific equation. And yet, I am not sure this forgives the ultimate sin of gluttony. Or greed, as I would describe it after being privy to the way we eat. There is a really simple way to describe our culinary habit. We eat. And eat. Then overeat. Followed by a repeat.
Our pattern of ingestion is quite at odds with the simplicity with which we approach meal times at home. Once we step outside, it?s like a free for all. A bit like a marauding herd of wildebeest. Let?s just say you don?t stand in their way. Look at us at the movies. Most shows are post regular mealtime. But we get to a multiplex with one thought: What can we eat? Savvy theatre owners not only offer every variety of greasy snack, they even have it delivered to your seat. As a result now, most movies can be watched to smells of achar, samosas and cheesy nachos. Hello hypertension, obesity and acidity.
If movies make our taste buds tingle, then there is nothing like travel to get us salivating. At Mumbai?s new T2, the entire raison d?etre of airports has been missed. I think hanging an extravagantly large collection art on the walls and designing lights inspired by peacock?s plumes and phulkari embroidery is meant to cue you to India?s wonderful heritage.
But seriously, are you trying to sell exotic India to Indians? There is no way we are walking around in a gentile manner admiring ? and buying art ? at an airport. Hell no, we have a singular thought: Where?s the grub? Here is where the genius of Mumbai?s new airport lies: The food court is the hero.
Forget the design rules other airports around the world follow, that draw from traffic flow of passengers. No sir, we give centre stage to gluttony. Retail is shoved to a corner and a number of seriously impressive restaurants greet you as soon as you clear immigration. It is testament to this genius in planning that every eatery is always full. Day and night. A typical tableau is a bit like this: International travellers browse through the kitschy souvenir shops. The Indians masticate
They chew their way through buffets, pizzas, chat, idlis? Till the final announcement for the flight is made they chew. Then they get on the plane and ask, ?What?s for dinner?? Followed by a post prandial nap and then it?s time to wake up to breakfast.
We eat like little children. We stuff our faces till our stomachs hurt. What is a bit more disgusting is what we do once we have ingested large quantities of food. We proceed to share our entire digestive process with everyone around. The old days where you had to burp to please a host are long gone. The rules of polite company are now universal. Be polite. Which means don?t burp, fart, gargle at the dinner table.
But there is something about a public place that turns us into belching beasts. We chew with our mouths open. We hiccup and swallow, simultaneously. We indulgently watch our children stick their fingers into serving plates to eat. Basically, we chew the cud like dull, bovine creatures with four large stomachs.
I am the biggest fan of eating with my hands. The way we do it is so masterful. From the fine art of breaking a roti, adding sabzi and the right amount of dal, to eating sambar rice with the fingers, I have seen people do it so beautifully, it rivals the use of the finest flatware. But eating elegantly is also a dying art. Forks are used as weaponry and fingers are licked, noses are picked, food is shovelled. And then the process is repeated ad nauseam.
Why does this offend me, given that we grew up with the tradition of parents stuffing our faces as we became 220-pound monsters? Read that sentence again. Once more please. Perhaps, a big appetite is not so desirable in a country where a large part of the population doesn?t have access to three square meals a day? Some might even call it rude?
Nonita Kalra is a fashion and lifestyle journalist, and former editor-in-chief of Elle India
