Cindy Adams

Cindy Adams

Celebrity News

Turturro’s quest for a ‘tasteful’ ménage à trois

Sex. It’s everywhere. If not in your bedroom, it’s in your movie theater. “Fading Gigolo,” with Vanessa Paradis, Sofia Vergara, John Turturro, omnipresent Woody Allen who’s everywhere, is about a ménage à trois. Sweet lovely film.

So director Turturro, why this crappy theme?

“Professionally, I need to experience other things. I’m interested in the subject. I did research. Maybe it’s an outgrowth of my form of repression.”

“Scenes leading up are actually the sexiest. Difficult was doing it so nothing appears vulgar.”

Yeah. Sure. Intercourse with three people has to play like a hymnal.

“Hard was organizing scenes such as going into the doctor’s office. Trying to make the action appear relaxing and make things look good. You can’t just focus on looking at a person’s body. Overcoming that was to find some activity to play. I had to create a bit of an obstacle.

“That struggle was accomplished by inserting a little drama. A headache. Someone finishing before another. Your brain ends up turning things around. Complication has to be manufactured so it ends up a tasteful movie.”

Oh, absolutely. I mean, God, yes.

Whilst pondering such heavy-duty stuff as to fornicate or not to fornicate, Turturro put an arm around his wife and introduced the son who resembles him.

“He’s 13. He’s in the film. He plays one of Vanessa Paradis’ children.”

And the real name of this boy who plays a Hasidic child?

Diego Turturro.

And the Cinema Society sponsor for this film on threesome sex? “Women’s Health.”

Odds & ends

Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina hired Lindsay’s attorney Mark Jay Heller for her drinking while driving charge. Look him up. The Departmental Disciplinary Committee for the First Judicial Department hammered him for his lawyering.

Naomi Campbell to pals: “Things are sorry. I’m traveling and dealing with passing of two close friends. Back in NY May 1.”

Hank Azaria applauding “A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder.”

‘Flahs,’ bash and knit

Meryl Streep marches on. Next up she’s in Diablo Cody’s new script for TriStar, “Ricki and the Flash.” Jonathan Demme directs.

Brit singer Lily Allen on Madonna: “She might’ve meant something once but I don’t know many my age who care.” Lily’s 28.

Can it be true? Kate Beckinsale asked Julia Roberts to teach her how to knit? It’s what I heard.

Tasty exception

Vegetarian Lindsay Wagner, once TV’s “The Bionic Woman,” now the Holistic Woman: “Sometimes I’ll eat lamb. It’s the cleanest meat. They’re not pumped full of all that gunk because they fatten up just fine on their own.”

The world hustling to get interviewed by Barbara Walters before her last view on “The View.” Even Chris Cuomo offered to make himself available.

Political arousal

Survey. Over 87 percent of Russian women said they’re turned on by Communist men. The condition’s known as Hot to Trotsky.

Out-of-towners bought New York City’s prized Tavern on the Green. To quote one New Yorker: “They’re bumblers.”

Their PR person sent notes and fliers wanting me to report their opening the 24th. I then requested a table. A callback said: “We’ll only comp two people.” Nobody requested a freebie or anyone picking up any check. It’s a birthday party of 10. We wanted a round table. They said no. They’re booked. And no round table. My office asked for the management. No manager, owner, nobody in charge returned that call.

A sub assistant phoned with “Can’t do it. We’re too busy. And no round table.”

Yokels are running this Tavern on the Toilet.

Only out-of-towners, kids, only out-of-towners.