Dear Olivia Pope,
I hope this letter finds you well, rather than in the heat of a national crisis and/or government conspiracy. I'm writing because I watch "Scandal" every week and I had some stray observations, like, for example: you REALLY need to stop dating Fitz.
Be patient with me here. I'm telling you this from a place of admiration. I mean, you are easily one of my favorite characters on television (and not just because of your superior wardrobe and enduring appreciation for red wine), but you seriously have to get your crap together this season.
See, there's a major shortage of strong/smart women on TV. That's not to say there are no strong/smart women, but their superiority is usually coupled with a crippling lack of social skills or just general craziness. Look at Carrie from "Homeland"! She also loves her some wine, though usually with a side of mood-regulating medication and jerky crying set to light jazz.
But let's get back to the topic at hand: that a**hole, Fitz. Don't you see what he's done to you over the course of the past 15-ish episodes? If I'm being honest, I really don't get the appeal. I'm not a political expert or anything, but he doesn't seem very good at being president. Also, why does he not have eyebrows?
Your attachment to him is just not a cute look, Liv. I don't want to use the word "pathetic," but what happened to the Olivia Pope of Season 1?! You were one of the first powerful and brilliant lady people on a prime time show (who wasn't severely disabled by irritating quirks or an emotional disorder)! You had flaws and got yourself into some morally ambiguous situations, but that was part of your complex character composition! Initially, I understood the Fitz thing as vice, explaining it away with the irrelevance of ethical perfection in the context of a multilayered protagonist, but now it's just getting out of control.
I'm not even really talking about the adultery aspect of the whole thing. If I'm being real, the casually walking past Mellie after you've both gotten it on in your presidential do-si-do is a little unorthodox, but who am I to judge? I'm also not even really bothered by the implausibility of you having a blatantly obvious relationship with the president of the United States. Your terrorist undead mother chewed off her wrists at some point this season, so I think we've all stopped keeping track of things being realistic. Although, the most far-fetched thing about the show is that such a fierce lady would let her every move be dictated by some jerk, who does not appear to even have eyebrows.
Let me be clear, Liv. This is not a case for dating Jake Ballard instead. (Seriously though, you two have less chemistry than a couple of J.Crew manikins once the lights go out.) This is about not needing a man ... or at least not being actively dependent on a man. I am sick and tired of fictional females being defined by their men. Alicia Florrick just lost her main love interest on "The Good Wife," and, don't get me wrong, it was sad and bloody, but now her character can blossom into the independent and aggressively talented flower she was always meant to be!
Don't you get it? Your narrative is so much stronger without the complications of a romantic subplot. You are the most badass woman in Washington. You have enough focus and drive to lead your own firm and run a presidential campaign, all while trading only in the latest Prada collection. But before we start talking accessories, maybe just pull on the white hat and do you for a while. I don't know what else to tell you, Liv. You're the fixer, so fix this. Handle it. Besides, when you're emotionally ready for a healthy relationship with a new man, maybe you can find one who with all the necessary facial hair.
xoxo,
Lauren
P.S. Where do you get your outerwear tailored?
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