Who needs the random stranger for Holi heckling?

Every year around Holi, even the air in the capital, it seems, is filled with the sometimes passionate and sometimes resigned complaints from Delhi girls against Holi hooligans.
But they don’t need random strangers with water-filled balloons to ruin the pre-Holi week. Apparently, there are various other rounds of harassment that women are obliged to go through, lest they offend their Holi-mad friends, neighbours or relatives.The girls say that in the case of getting ‘ballooned’ on the road by strangers, they at least have the option of retaliating and telling them to back off, but with attackers they are acquainted with, they often have to swallow their anger and smile.
Bura na mano, dosti hai
Some girls say that in their schools and colleges, participation in Holi celebrations sometimes becomes one of the factors that influence their peer image. “I’ve never been a fan of Holi. As a kid, I was simply scared, and now I also fear misconduct. When I was in the first year of my undergraduate programme, some of my classmates were very excited about celebrating Holi before the Holi break – they carried packets of Holi colours with them. Since I did not want to be a part of it, I just snuck out and went back home, and they actually haven’t spoken to me since,” says Isha Phulka, 22. “I love my school, especially because I’m going to pass out very soon, but I am so not going to miss the Holi week here. Even though playing Holi inside the school premises is banned, the students hide gulaal and greasy colours inside the loos and even coordinate with the local shopkeepers and van drivers to arrange for water balloons. They block all the routes out, so you have to pass them to go home. And then they just hold you so tight and put colour on you. The strangest thing is that if you voice the fact that you don’t like it, you are immediately declared ‘not cool enough’ or too uptight,” says Sanya*, 18.
Grin and neighbour it
Living in a building society requires a certain degree of negotiation and adjustment, say the girls. But in the case of some Delhi girls, the adjustment seems to be a little too demanding. “Unfortunately, I live in an area where Holi is something to be really, really enthusiastic about. And we’ve been living here for a while, so everybody knows everybody. Since we have grown up in the same neighbourhood, around the Holi week, the guys here just assume the right to barge into my house and put colour on me. Sometimes, if I am reading in the balcony, they actually throw balloons neeche se upar. This one time, I got really pissed off and yelled at one of them – and then his mother took offence and started telling my mom ki beti ko tameez sikhao! That’s the issue – gali ke idiots pe you can at least snap, neighbourhood mein even that is complicated,” says Dhruvika*, 20.
“Last Holi, I had requested my mom to tell our neighbours that I am unwell so that they don’t bother me. But they said arre, aunty, Holi hai, aise kaise, bas paani nahi daalenge. So they put this thick pink colour in my hair which took weeks to come off. I have never seen them seeking guys out like that around Holi, which is probably because most of the guys are with them anyway. Ladkiyon ko hi pareshan karte hain. The year before last, they poured icy cold water on me – aur kuch zyada bol do toh ladai ho jaati hai,” complains Bhawna Bhasin, 21.
Raucous relatives
Stuck in a complex situation, where the relatives want to claim their ‘right’ to play Holi with them, which often borders on bullying and harassment, the girls say they fail to spot the ‘fun’ in the festival. “My cousins have been bullying me for as many Holis as I can remember. They treat me like I am made of rubber and it gets extremely uncomfortable. It’s not like they don’t play Holi with my brother, but with him, the attacks are a lot less passionate. And if my mom and taiji try to stop them, they are also given the same treatment as us girls. Last year, I just locked my room so as to escape them, but even then, they threw buckets of coloured water from under the door and when I opened the door, fuming, the water was on me. It’s like the road wala hooliganism is latent in them and is aroused when they smell Holi,” says Mishika*, 22. “My cousin sister got married last year, so Holi was supposed to be a big deal, and we were forced to go to their place where the brother-in-law was to come with all his cousins. In the name of fun, they forced my head under a water tap and poured coloured water down my back. My neck was sore for weeks and the entire process was enormously uncomfortable. Had any of them not been related to me, I would not have had to su** it up – not quietly, at least,” says Nandita*, 19.
(Some names changed on request)